Remember Someone’s Name – Actively Listen and Show Appreciation

How to win friends and influence I’m always intrigued to listen and read new material on sales. The sales industry is always evolving and there’s always some new ‘guru’ telling you what you should and shouldn’t do. However, one thing that always stays the same is that people always like talking about themselves. If you’re talking more than the prospect/client, you’re doing something wrong. An additional Ah-Ha Moment you can add while you ask questions is using their name.

“Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.”[note]Page 79[/note]

Recognizing someone by their name or remembering their name from previous interactions shows you care. You took the additional few seconds to remember their name. Think back to a time when someone said your name and it caught you off guard. There’s a coworker of mine that whenever he says hi, my name follows. It feels like a nice gesture rather than the old ‘how ya doin?’

Give it a shot and see if you surprise anyone. Caring about people and listening to them can really set you apart in the workplace. Not many people like the person that comes into the office and doesn’t talk to anybody.

“So if you aspire to be a good conversationalist, be an attentive listener. To be interesting, be interested. Ask questions that other persons will enjoy answering. Encourage them to talk about themselves and their accomplishments.”[note]Page 88[/note]

Go past the traditional, ‘how was your weekend?’. I’ve found it very beneficial for me to get to know my implementation team well. I did exactly what Dale says to do. I’m interested in their work; I’m asking questions to engage a real conversation and am applauding their hard work. Guess what… next time I ask them for a favor, what do you think they’ll say? They are more than happy to help me out.

Typically, I like to position the question in a way so they can answer using their experience/expertise. Asking a yes/no question will get me my answer, but it won’t make them feel any different. We all want to be appreciated in some way or another so by allowing them to answer the question long form, I can give praise.

“The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated. – William James” [note]Page 95[/note]

Think of a time when someone made you feel important. It could be as simple as you helping someone create an email. Or maybe they had a questions about an internal process. Getting that ‘thank you’ or high five feels good!

Show appreciation more often and you might be amazed how people perceive you.

Admitting you’re wrong is a very difficult task. Nobody wants to be wrong… you feel defeated.

“You will never get into trouble by admitting that you may be wrong. That will stop all argument and inspire your opponent t be just as fair and open and broad-minded as you are. It will make him want to admit that he, too, may be wrong.”[note]Page 118[/note]

I was meeting with a client that had been sold something we can’t actually do. He wasn’t very happy with the company… Apologizing and telling him I would fix it wasn’t doing the trick. I’m just another ‘sales guy’ that’s trying to rip off his company… But, once I told him we were wrong and it shouldn’t have happened, he stopped and apologized for overreacting.

It was interested to see the different reaction he had once I claimed we were wrong. Once that situation blew over, we had a civilized conversation. It happens… and life goes on.

“If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.”[note]Page 134[/note]

We’re all human and we make mistakes. It takes true guts to admit it and own the mistake. Don’t let the fear of making mistakes stop you from being successful!


There’s more from me to come:

How to Win Friends & Influence People | Dale Carnegie

Being A Good Person Isn’t Hard

How to win friends and influence Dale Carnegie is such a well known person, I knew I had to add a book of his to my writing. This isn’t the first book I’ve read of his, but it is the first one I’ve chosen to write about. It continuously feels like times are changing but not always for the best. There’s always a new ‘guru’, ‘thought leader’ or ‘expert’ trying to pawn off their opinion to anyone that’ll listen. In hindsight, a lot of those people’s opinions spawn from ‘the greats’.

Dale Carnegie is just one example of someone that has produced amazing content to share with the world.

“Instead of condemning people, let’s try to understand them. Let’s try to figure out why they do what they do. That’s a lot more profitable and intriguing than criticism; and it breeds sympathy, tolerance and kindness.”[note]Page 16[/note]

It’s not the first time I’ve read something like this and it won’t be the last. Optimistic people are always looking for the ‘better’ of every situation. Instead of looking down on someone for some reason, try to figure out why they do what they do. Having a better understanding as to WHY they are that way will allow you to work better with them. Prime example… someone always showing up late. It’s perfectly okay to ask someone as to why they’re late.

Find the underlying issue. Maybe they need an additional reminder, maybe they get sick often, maybe they’re bad with directions or maybe they just don’t care. Figure out the why and it will help you work better with one another. If they don’t care, maybe you shouldn’t associate yourself with them.

Henry Ford said:

If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own.”[note]Page 35[/note]

Having empathy is really important. Put yourself in someone else’s shoes. Try and understand their point of view and your point of view. In sales, that’s really important. You can’t just sell someone something because you think the product is great… what if your product can’t even help them?

Working with organizations, you learn about the different hierarchies companies have. You could make the HR Director fall in love with your product but when they go to the CEO for approval, they get shut down. Understanding what that person has to go through can make or break your business.

As we stop thinking solely about ourselves and start thinking more about other people, don’t forget to show your appreciation!

“One of the most neglected virtues of our daily existence is appreciation.”[note]Page 27[/note]

I can’t echo this enough! Tell people ‘Thank you’! Write handwritten thank you notes. Show your appreciation to people and they will love it. I have a few family members that still send me money on my birthday… they always receive a thank you in the mail from me. My cousins stopped receiving money for their birthdays years ago. It’s the little things.

If someone goes out of their way to help you; thank them. The guy in front of your holds the door; thank him. Your coworker helps you; boom, thank them! You’d be amazed that people always willing to help when you show your appreciation.

Do things for people unselfishly!

“If we want to make friends, let’s put ourselves out to do things for other people – things that require time, energy, unselfishness and thoughtfulness.”[note]Page 58[/note]

It doesn’t get much simpler than that. When’s the last time you helped someone move? How about writing a nice comment on one of their articles or posts? Shared their stuff on the internet? Make a point of doing things for people without asking anything in return. Being a good person isn’t hard… it just takes a little extra time. Slow down and give back; you’ll be happy you did.

Man O Man, don’t forget to smile!

“Your smile is a messenger of your good will. Your smile brightens the lives of all who see it. To someone who has seen a dozen people frown, scowl or turn their faces away, your smile is like the sun breaking through the clouds.”[note]Page 69[/note]

You’d be amazed how contagious a smile can be. As humans, we’re drawn to happy people. Positive, optimistic whatever you want to call it! Whenever I get the chance to smile, I’ve always got a huge grin on my face. You know exactly what I’m talking about… so start doing it!


There’s more from me to come:

How to Win Friends & Influence People | Dale Carnegie