Remember Someone’s Name – Actively Listen and Show Appreciation

How to win friends and influence I’m always intrigued to listen and read new material on sales. The sales industry is always evolving and there’s always some new ‘guru’ telling you what you should and shouldn’t do. However, one thing that always stays the same is that people always like talking about themselves. If you’re talking more than the prospect/client, you’re doing something wrong. An additional Ah-Ha Moment you can add while you ask questions is using their name.

“Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.”[note]Page 79[/note]

Recognizing someone by their name or remembering their name from previous interactions shows you care. You took the additional few seconds to remember their name. Think back to a time when someone said your name and it caught you off guard. There’s a coworker of mine that whenever he says hi, my name follows. It feels like a nice gesture rather than the old ‘how ya doin?’

Give it a shot and see if you surprise anyone. Caring about people and listening to them can really set you apart in the workplace. Not many people like the person that comes into the office and doesn’t talk to anybody.

“So if you aspire to be a good conversationalist, be an attentive listener. To be interesting, be interested. Ask questions that other persons will enjoy answering. Encourage them to talk about themselves and their accomplishments.”[note]Page 88[/note]

Go past the traditional, ‘how was your weekend?’. I’ve found it very beneficial for me to get to know my implementation team well. I did exactly what Dale says to do. I’m interested in their work; I’m asking questions to engage a real conversation and am applauding their hard work. Guess what… next time I ask them for a favor, what do you think they’ll say? They are more than happy to help me out.

Typically, I like to position the question in a way so they can answer using their experience/expertise. Asking a yes/no question will get me my answer, but it won’t make them feel any different. We all want to be appreciated in some way or another so by allowing them to answer the question long form, I can give praise.

“The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated. – William James” [note]Page 95[/note]

Think of a time when someone made you feel important. It could be as simple as you helping someone create an email. Or maybe they had a questions about an internal process. Getting that ‘thank you’ or high five feels good!

Show appreciation more often and you might be amazed how people perceive you.

Admitting you’re wrong is a very difficult task. Nobody wants to be wrong… you feel defeated.

“You will never get into trouble by admitting that you may be wrong. That will stop all argument and inspire your opponent t be just as fair and open and broad-minded as you are. It will make him want to admit that he, too, may be wrong.”[note]Page 118[/note]

I was meeting with a client that had been sold something we can’t actually do. He wasn’t very happy with the company… Apologizing and telling him I would fix it wasn’t doing the trick. I’m just another ‘sales guy’ that’s trying to rip off his company… But, once I told him we were wrong and it shouldn’t have happened, he stopped and apologized for overreacting.

It was interested to see the different reaction he had once I claimed we were wrong. Once that situation blew over, we had a civilized conversation. It happens… and life goes on.

“If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.”[note]Page 134[/note]

We’re all human and we make mistakes. It takes true guts to admit it and own the mistake. Don’t let the fear of making mistakes stop you from being successful!


There’s more from me to come:

How to Win Friends & Influence People | Dale Carnegie